Falling

I call the shots. Simple. Easy. What's not to understand?

And all of a sudden I seem to be swirling. All I'm building up you're tearing down. And you're just trying to find a place on the map of all the men I've been through. (thank you, Mr. Rob Thomas for your words).

And I wondered, I thought, okay, i'll try it. It's not a bad thing. It's okay. You'll be okay. But really, is it worth letting someone that close to you?

Do I love him? Will I love him? Am I capable of loving someone? or letting someone love me?
He told me he's falling in love with me. I think I feel the same, though I'm not stupid enough to admit it out loud.
I told him that sometimes i hate him. It's not him, it's his behavior. He smiled when I said it. Did I tell you yet today that I love you? I glared and told him to stop trying to get out of this. Does that count as him for real loving me? Maybe he loves the idea of me. He apologized, called me his girl, his best girl. I felt bad for hating him. Especially after the flowers from earlier in the evening.

But I like to be in control. And with him, I'm afraid, because I'm losing. I think they say that love is like falling, and falling, is like this.