The End

The end. I am sad. But I am happy. I think this is what releif feels like.

I never meant for it to end like this. Heck, I was just looking to have a little fun. I didn't mean for it to get this far. But I guess that's what happens when you play with people's emotions. Lesson learned... playing with fire, you're going to get burned.

All this time I thought I just wanted someone to love me. Turns out , I was wrong. Because he did love me. I don't doubt that. He loved me so much, for who I was, that he took second best me because he wanted to be with me. He claims he never saw it like that. whatever, it doesn't matter. I beg to differ.

So tonight, i had to look him in the eye and end it. Yes, I know you love me. I feel it every time you touch me, everytime you look at me and everytime you speak to me. I'm sorry, I don't love you, and I don't know if I ever could. I'm feeling trapped, I'm feeling pressured. I need space. I'm starting to lose sight of who I am. I'm starting to fade away, and i don't want to.

Friends? Can we be? I beleived you, I want to be your friend too. But right at the front door, you went for one last kiss goodbye, and that's when i realized i'm not so sure. Ironic how we had our last kiss in the same place we had our first kiss. The fireworks from the first one are gone. This one felt like goodbye.

So, thanks, it was fun. but for now, it's over -- even if you agree to change for me. I don't want you to for me. You need to do that on your own. So i'll take the blame -- I'm scared, i can't handle relationships or commitments. And all the while, I'll just keep the secret that I just knew, deep inside, that you weren't the one for me.

I think I'll just put on my little black dress and go.

For the record -- I was just looking to have some fun -- you were never supposed to love me.